Strangers

Strangers to an acquaintance, acquaintance to friends, friends to friends with benefits, friends with benefits to best friends, while it stopped there for you...you turned best friend to someone I fell in love with!

Now I'm plagued by the reality of you falling in love with someone else, I could never figure out why I'm never enough or even why I fall hard for someone and the other person just doesn't feel the same.

Sure I'm told that never think of yourself as someone who is not enough, that I was so enough that the other person could not handle it, that the right person will come along, or that I don't need another person to feel enough, that I should feel complete by myself! which is all nice and positive but when you sit across the person who you are so much in love with and realized they don't feel the same for you! that just breaks your heart in million pieces!!

I can't stop myself from picturing you holding hands with someone else in public without a single worry in the world, posting pictures with that person on social media, calling that person with adoration in front of others but you couldn't do any of those things with me, because you were always worried that people will talk, I'm just realizing that it was because I was not the one and you didn't want anyone mistaking me to be the one and hence you were always scared to hold my hands in public or put our pictures together!

How did I not see that! How was I so blindly in love with you to have forgotten my value! you no doubt have been a very good friend and a very shitty lover, I can't help but blame myself for ending up in the place I'm right now...I should have known that this road is only going to end in heartbreak for me, what pisses me off is that I have already been through this road and have learned nothing.

So here I'm desperately trying to undo you from my life, which is a very difficult task when you are my go-to person when things get difficult! maybe this time I learned my lesson, maybe this time I won't fall for someone who doesn't fall for me!! or maybe this time I finally realized I'm destined to falling for people who will never fall for me!!

Maybe we will now go from Best friends to friends, friends to an acquaintance, acquaintance to strangers and that life will come to a full circle and when I see you holding someone else's hand in public it will not sting anymore....just maybe!